There are many who believe in fate.
It seems probable that Carson will win the contest.
What is “there”? Can you replace it with a noun? How about “it”? Can you identify it (meaning “it”!)? The answers to these two questions are, respectively, “no one knows” and “no way.”
The reason why no one can define these subjects is that they are what I call “esoteric.” While the dictionary definition of “esoteric” is, essentially, “understood by only a select few,” I use the word to mean “out there,” such as something one cannot grasp or describe.
Additionally, one cannot find an esoteric subject that isn’t paired with a form of the “to be” verb or another linking verb. As I’ll discuss in a future post, writing improves when we minimize use of these weaker verbs.
Finally, I have never spotted a sentence using an esoteric subject that I couldn’t shorten otherwise. You’ve probably ascertained from this comment of mine that verbosity is a no-no.
Essentially, then, the use of esoteric subjects proves highly problematic—especially to my easily annoyed self—as it presents a triple whammy: indefinable subject, weak verb, and unnecessarily wordy sentence.
So, let’s dissect these three problems and see how we can fix them. The first issue I have is that esoteric subjects are—well, esoteric. Readers like clarity, as long as it’s available. (And clarity is not available when writing without the esoteric subject would make the sentence sound like you’re in seventeenth-century England; for example, you wouldn’t write “It is spewing rain” to replace “It is raining”!) In any event, see if you can define the pronoun. Often, all you need to do is delete the pronoun and replace it with a subject already in the sentence. If so, problem solved!
My second concern with esoteric subjects is their reliance on weak verbs. Can you replace that dull sound with a louder one—one that paints a picture in the mind? Often, all you need to do is move around or play with words already there.
The third problem—wordiness—automatically gets resolved when you fix the first two. Isn’t that convenient?
Now, let’s try with the sentences at the top:
Many believe in fate.
-Deleted “there”? Check! Deleted “are”? Check! Shortened the sentence? Check, by
three words, in fact!
Carson will probably win the contest.
-Deleted “it”? Check! Deleted “seems”? Check! Shortened the sentence? Check, again by
three words (which, I assure you, is a coincidence)!
Minimizing, if not eliminating, esoteric subjects strengthens your writing and helps you meet that dreaded character, word, or page limit. Try it on your own!
It seems probable that Carson will win the contest.
What is “there”? Can you replace it with a noun? How about “it”? Can you identify it (meaning “it”!)? The answers to these two questions are, respectively, “no one knows” and “no way.”
The reason why no one can define these subjects is that they are what I call “esoteric.” While the dictionary definition of “esoteric” is, essentially, “understood by only a select few,” I use the word to mean “out there,” such as something one cannot grasp or describe.
Additionally, one cannot find an esoteric subject that isn’t paired with a form of the “to be” verb or another linking verb. As I’ll discuss in a future post, writing improves when we minimize use of these weaker verbs.
Finally, I have never spotted a sentence using an esoteric subject that I couldn’t shorten otherwise. You’ve probably ascertained from this comment of mine that verbosity is a no-no.
Essentially, then, the use of esoteric subjects proves highly problematic—especially to my easily annoyed self—as it presents a triple whammy: indefinable subject, weak verb, and unnecessarily wordy sentence.
So, let’s dissect these three problems and see how we can fix them. The first issue I have is that esoteric subjects are—well, esoteric. Readers like clarity, as long as it’s available. (And clarity is not available when writing without the esoteric subject would make the sentence sound like you’re in seventeenth-century England; for example, you wouldn’t write “It is spewing rain” to replace “It is raining”!) In any event, see if you can define the pronoun. Often, all you need to do is delete the pronoun and replace it with a subject already in the sentence. If so, problem solved!
My second concern with esoteric subjects is their reliance on weak verbs. Can you replace that dull sound with a louder one—one that paints a picture in the mind? Often, all you need to do is move around or play with words already there.
The third problem—wordiness—automatically gets resolved when you fix the first two. Isn’t that convenient?
Now, let’s try with the sentences at the top:
Many believe in fate.
-Deleted “there”? Check! Deleted “are”? Check! Shortened the sentence? Check, by
three words, in fact!
Carson will probably win the contest.
-Deleted “it”? Check! Deleted “seems”? Check! Shortened the sentence? Check, again by
three words (which, I assure you, is a coincidence)!
Minimizing, if not eliminating, esoteric subjects strengthens your writing and helps you meet that dreaded character, word, or page limit. Try it on your own!
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